Some vitally important thoughts about who we choose to love and why
On our way through this life, we meet many different people, all of whom are absolutely unique. Some people leave us indifferent, some people make us fall in love with them for the rest of your life. Family psychologist Irina Chesnova tried to explore why different people cause such different reactions in us. We at Bright Side found what she had to say really insightful.
Images of the past
Sometimes it is hard to understand why you are interested in that specific person, why you are so attracted to them. Your choice, for the most part, is caused by instinctive and often unconscious things. Somewhere deep inside, you keep images of people who played a part in your formative years, in making you who you are today. These are images of parents and relatives that left their mark on your destiny.
These images are often a mixture of reality and childhood imagination. We associate these images with love — the love which we received and understood when we were children. When a random person we meet somehow coincides with those images and wakes these dormant memories of our earliest and most dear relationships, we cannot simply pass them by or remain indifferent. We are intrigued, excited and very soon it’s likely that we will fall in love.
Childhood wounds
The idea exists in psychology that the partner we choose is an improved version of one of our parents. That person will typically to some extent remind us of our parents in certain specific way- and that’s why we know how to get along with them. At the same time however, other parts of that person do not even remotely remind us of out parents — and that feels good.
If you lacked love in your relationship with either your mom or your dad, this theory claims, you will inevitably try to overcome that deficit of attention in the relationships you establish with new people in your adult life, at a subconscious level. That’s why we often choose somebody who seems to be able to heal the wounds we received in childhood. These new connections help us achieve our psychological needs, expectations, hopes and dreams, and retrieve everything we once lacked. They give us love, protection, recognition, admiration, and sometimes independence, self-confidence and perfection.
This is a very interesting idea indeed: for there is something about our partners that invariably makes us feel ’at home’. We feel that we can truly relate to them; that they complement us, give us something we have always lacked up to that point. They have qualities that we don’t find in ourselves but long to have present in our daily lives. We also complement them. He is strong and decisive, and you are lacking hardness. She is wise, and you are impulsive. He is restrained, and you are spontaneous.
I cannot remember where I read this, but it certainly rings true: ’People «fit» each other like pieces of a puzzle. Where one curves out, the other curves in.’
Ephemeral is developing tattoo ink designed to disappear after a year
Practically everyone who has ever considered a tattoo knows the old parental refrain of “you’ll have it forever.” It’s a fairly stark warning tinged with the regret of a generation covered in inked relics of disco and popular culture past.
Some temporary solutions do exist, including the relatively recent phenomenon of the two-week tattoo (along with some other high-tech options). A two-year-old Harlem-based startup spun out of NYU is presently in the process of bringing a year-long solution to market.
Ephemeral is a two-part system, involving an ink designed to break down after a year, along with a separate removal solution.
Instead Of Renting An Apartment, Sign A Lease That Lets You Live Around The World
f you can afford the airfare, it's getting easier to be a digital nomad. Roam, a new network of co-living spaces, offers a lease that lets you continually move: After a couple of weeks or months in Madrid, you can head to Miami, or Ubud, Bali. By 2017, the startup plans to have 8-10 locations around the world.
These aren't designed as places for vacations. Instead, it's an alternative way to think about home for "location-independent" people who can work remotely. After living and working nomadically in his twenties, founder Bruno Haid wanted to make it easier.
"Just managing my stuff and going back and forth between Airbnbs and housesitting became more cumbersome over time," Haid says. "At the same time, I was involved in a couple of early co-living communities in San Francisco, and saw the cultural value of something like that."
via @ fastcoexist
This incredible Artist Paints Her Models Into the World Around them
We’re all familiar with the expression “at one with nature” – the kind of talk generally reserved for hippies or pretentious backpackers who found themselves at a Full Moon Party. But artist Orly Faya takes the saying very literally. For the last three years, she has been disguising her subjects as part of their scenery in a series called I Paint People into the World.
h/t: notable
The collection (slightly NSFW) sees Orly paint people into landscapes all over the world, using the sun for her light and the world as her canvas – “merging humanity with the earth.” The photographs are incredible, and at times it’s genuinely hard to tell where the person ends and nature begins.
read more @ http://designyoutrust.com/2016/05/this-incredible-artist-paints-her-models-into-the-world-around-them/
Building a Blanket Fort by Tegan Seymour
Do you know what was fun when you were a kid, and are still fun now?? Blanket Forts! They’re a magical place where you can feel toasty and warm and free from all of life's responsibilities.
It has been many years since I’ve actually attempted to build any form of blanket fort, so here is a quick and easy guide for those of you who aren’t exactly experts in the field of blanket construction.
What You Will Need:
Blankets! Lots of them! Sheets, throws, duvets, whatever you can find! You will need them all. Pillows! Raid the living room, your bedroom, everyone else’s bedroom. Bring in your pet’s favourite snooze cushion. The more pillows you have, the squishier and more enjoyable your fort will be.
Stuff to hold the fort up. This one’s a doozy. Anything that you can find around the house that is solid and can probably support a blanket and your entire fort is best. Chairs, spinning ones from the study, or dining chairs will work fine. Tables! You can use the dining table for a very solid fort, or smaller tables to hold up other areas. Brooms, or large sticks. A hockey stick maybe?
Come on use your imagination! I used an indoor clothesline to help hold up one side of my fort, which brings me to the next item on the list. Pegs! Use these nifty pegs to clip your fort to anything you can find! They’re very handy I promise.
Finally you want your fort to be very special and welcoming. I brought in my giant unicorn lamp, for the perfect light glow, as well as my baby unicorn lamp, so he didn’t miss out. Fairy lights are also a great idea! I even brought in a little plant. But it’s not real, so I don’t worry about spilling dirt on all the blankets. That wouldn’t be very good.
Let’s Get Building
I used my largest blanket for the main part of the blanket fort.
I tied two ends of it to the blinds on the windows which was very handy.
I also decided to build my blanket fort over the top of a pull out sofa bed.
So the floor to my blanket fort is extra soft.
I brought in a clothes airer that has wheels and stood it up next to the fort, pegging the blanket to it. Finally I brought in an officer chair and lifted it up on the sofa, pulling the blanket over it, so that there was plenty of space underneath!
The blanket also hung low at the front so I can tuck it up to get in easily, or pull it down if I don’t want anyone to bother me while i’m chilling out in my fort. I got out my fairy lights and threaded them all the way across my fort, back and forth, making sure it wasn’t too heavy. I put them on the outside and also a bit on the inside of the fort.
The last step is to make it cosy! First I laid down a knitted blanket and then I brought in sooo many pillows! There was almost no room for me because there was so many cushions in there! I then grabbed my Giant Uni lamp and set him up in the fort. I put his setting on white light, so that there was plenty of light in my fort too!
Now your fort is ready to enjoy! With whatever you want to do! You can watch movies, read a book, do some colouring in. Even have a little nap. It was tough work building that fort, and it is filled with pillows…
Have fun!
Setting Up Your Cute Self Watering Plant by Tegan Seymour
Once you’ve picked an adorable little self watering planter, I’ve got my Piggy with his backpack on, ready to go. Grab a glass, or a jar that you can fill with water and hook your animal over.
Your planter kit will include the animal, a tiny packet of seeds, and a small soil pellet. Place the soil pellet into a small bowl. The soil pellet is wrapped in a kind of mesh bag, you want to have the open part facing upwards, so no soil will fall out the bottom!
Pour a small amount of water on your soil pellet and watch it expand like magic! Once it has puffed up into a chubby little cylinder shape it is done!
Make sure that in your backpack, there is a tiny piece of rope poking in, as that is how the water will get to your plant. Open the bag and squeeze as much soil as you need into your little animals backpack or wherever the plant will go. Poke it until it’s packed in nice and firm.
Now it’s time for the seeds! Dig a mini hole for your seeds in the top of the dirt. You can use your finger, or a popsicle stick, even the skinny end of a teaspoon handle. Pour a few tiny seeds into the hole. You can do as many or as little as you like, and keep the leftover seeds for another time!
Cover up the seeds with the soil and pat it down neatly. You’re almost ready to go, the final step is filling your glass with water. It needs to cover a fair way up the straw so that your animal can really easily drink it up to water your plant. There you have it! Now you just have to wait until little seedlings start popping out of the top! Don’t forget to refill the water if it gets too low, or is underneath the straw. Happy Planting!
Creating a Cute & Productive Workspace by Tegan Seymour
Whether you’re at school or college, or just like spending a lot of time on the internet (like me!) it’s
nice to have a tidy and attractive study area to get all of your work done in. Being in an organised
space helps keep you focused on the task at hand, and if your study is cute to boot, you’ll want to
spend even more time in there!
I’ve put together a little guide on decorating your workspace, so you can see how I have set up
mine, and maybe get some ideas to create your own!
Start off with a blank slate, your computer, laptop, or just empty desk! Make sure your desktop is
nice and clean too. I’ve also decided to go with the colour scheme white and gold with my
decorating today, so all my accessories will match. You don’t have to have a colour style to go with
but it can help to make everything look uniform. It also makes it easier when you’re picking things
out.
Next I added some of my main necessities. I’ve got a sweet gold and white lamp and little timber
drawer set from IKEA. I now can do plenty of my work during the night, and I have extra nearby
storage space for things like USBs and other stationary. I also added a gold pen cup to hold my
most commonly used pens, pencils and scissors.
I went ahead and added the last few items that I really needed. I picked out my Smoko Toaster
USB hub which is both adorable and super handy to have, as well as my two Toast USBs. I put
down a mousepad with a wolf on it, so that my mouse will both glide easily and not scratch the
desk. Finally a matching notebook in white with gold dots so that I have somewhere to jot down
any notes or ideas I may have.
The fun and final touches are all decorative! There’s a greeting card on top of the storage drawers
that say “You’re the bee’s knees” in gold that I picked up whilst on vacation in the US. Next to it is
my little cactus in a gold and white geometric vase. Succulents and cacti are a great addition to
your desk, and different types of plants can help cleanse the air. Meaning you can breathe easier
while you’re cooped up inside. My final and favourite piece on the desk is Uni my Unicorn ambient
light! He is both a lovely ornament and a bright desk light. This little cutie packs a punch, giving off
a lot more light than you would guess just looking at him. He matches all my decor and is useful for
late nights when I don’t want to use my lamp.
So there you have it! I always get a lot of compliments on my workspace and it’s really not hard to
set up a lovely one. You’ve just got to pick the right pieces and keep it tidy!
Here are a few more items that would look great in any workspace!
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